just so you know <|3

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

i can't do this;

you're messing with my head. when are you finally gonna give me what i want? whenever you're done with your current worries? i hate coming last to you; i hate being hidden. i hate how you treat me; i hate everything you say to me. you get my hopes up; for what? for the fact that i MIGHT still be here when you're finally ready? i don't need to put up with this shit anymore; yet i'm still hangin' around. what the FUCK are you gonna do? you gonna man up & face the fucking music you put on? or are you gonna choke & leave me stranded like you always do? is something gonna be different with us, or am i just getting my hopes up for nothing? you need to figure this shit out; & when you do pray to god i'm still here.

i must be insaneee.

you don't know what you do to me. you drive me completely mad.
i want to up & leave, but i can't seem to grab my balls & do it.
i'm afraid you are the only person who is capable of handling me.
you did; for a long ass time. & now i don't think anyone else
will be able to control this; who will stick around long enough.
you have me so scared.. i just can't stand what this is doing
to me. there's nothing more in the world that i want more than
you. don't you see that? you just.. you just complete me in ways
that i don't fully understand. i'm insane. completely insane.